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My grandmother died early sunday morning. my plans to spend christmas with ant are now tempered with the reality that nobody ever passes away at a convenient time. The service will be the 26th so I have to be on a plane on the 25th. She was sick for a long time. She hasnt been the gram I rememember so fondly in years. It still hurts. combined with my abdominal pains that won't leave, I'm somewhat of a mess. I have to keep moving. I always hope tomorrow will be better. Suddenly all my complaints about the way my life is seem pointless.

I hope I spend most of my time back home remembering how fun my gram was not how sad we are all now. She would have wanted that, Im sure.



( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 17th, 2008 05:24 pm (UTC)
You'll see all sorts of family types and everybody will be remembering her they way you all remember her best. Cool stories and things you ever knew might come up. Talking and being together like that are like a balm on your heart, everyone needs it. Nobody likes to dwell on how things are at the end. You'll be glad you went.

Things like this make us love being alive. You know, after a while, after the weight of it settles. I still think about and talk about my grandma a lot. She was a fucking bad-ass. Like somehow she knows what I'm doing and she approves.
Dec. 17th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC)
Dec. 17th, 2008 05:35 pm (UTC)
typo: things you never knew, I meant.
Dec. 20th, 2008 02:28 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the nice thoughts. Ben, sorry I never called you back. I've actually been really sick, unrelated to my gram passing. Something about poly cystic mmmnnn osis. Or sommink.

And tickets for me and Ant have been bought and we are going for a full 5 days. And considering having Christmas celebrations a day early.

I'm feeling much better about things now.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )